Benggali and marriages

Benggali, as we in Malaysia fondly refer to them who are of punjabi descent or northern region of india... basically, if it's slightly lighter on the dermo-scale, they're benggali... though in actuality benggali is the term the british used to refer their soldiers from the bengal bay area, but let's stick with the malaysian terminology...

So benggalis, a unique race that thrives amidst diversity, usually business owners, predominantly textile... but their younger breed consist of lawyers (sup Karpal?) and other reknowned professions such as politicians (sup Karpal again?)...

Bout the earlier generation of benggali, even if that person is the richest man or the most reknowned figure, the actual measure somehow is weighed on a scale where their children is on the other end of the scale... and specifically this question... 'are my children married when they are above 23?'

If the answer to above is no, that dude has failed in life... laugh it off guys, especially you T... but my other benggali frens would nod their head, some would sheepishly smile, some will go like 'i feel ya man'!!! Iman, bila mau kawin?

So it's not rare that on every occassion, where the benggalis converge, they have this radar that detects the unmarried guy or gal, and the job of senior benggalis is to ask them 'when r u getting married?'... u get what i'm sayin? it's like passing a landmine, they stop you, you say hi... they go like 'son, when r u getting married?'

i mean lady, when did my dad get notty with ya that u can call me son? funny aint it? u notty notty aunty... DAD!! you bad bad boy!!! ok that was crude but hei, if you see me once or twice in ur lifetime, you call me son? it's not the mat salleh son... it's the oh-i-gave-u-birth SON!!! pls save it for ur own child tht's been humping even a lamp-post if i put a skirt around it... no seriously... iman, stop laughing like a hyena, we won't wanna let them know who we're talking bout from far far away ain't it...

so today, we went for a function in ipoh, where them benggalis converged and as usual the radar was ever present, but this time round, dad's overseas so he won't gimme the awful stare like i'm-a-freakin-failure and ur attitude disgrace me!!! i disown u hahaha!!!

what did nexus do, he came up with some stealth mechanism... benggali frens, flip open your journals, they might come in handy... imaaannnnn, for God's sake dun use them on my own dad yaar!!!! you and t, and everyone else has to continue dealing with his 'bila mau kawin?' instead of hello...

step 1, avoid eye contact at all times, walk thru if necessary, the moment u shake their hands, dun disrespect by not looking at them but as soon as u see them about to talk, look to the other person and say 'hello'... continue till the last one...

if sangkut (stuck), just smile and say, uncle the day i am getting married, you will be first to know... and they will usually have their follow-up line, this calls for quick kill deployment:
1- ohhh... i wish you had a daughter and i would've brought my entourage to you? (avoid using this if they do have daughter or grand-daughters, unless of coz if it's the gal you've been wanting all ur life la... aiyo!!!)
2- what can i do? i already put a billboard but no answer
3- gals are fine but i kinda like achaa khaSAA punjabi munda (this mite get me blacklisted for life, do i look like i care?)
4- hotel weddings are so expensive, will need at least 45k, can i get bout 10k from you plssssss...

if all this fails, my best escape route is my nephew suddenly whispering in my ears something and i just inch away slowly and scoot or if they are nowhere in sight to see my distress signal, fake a phone call.... ah, the beauty of mobile connectivity.

So there you go fellas, chinaman (david) stop laughing, and benggalis, all the best in ur stealth mode... Godspeed and good luck, i'm just gonna lean back on my recliner today and watch Jab We Met (in 5 minutes woohooo)... alvida aur khuda hafiz!!!!